God's masterpiece

before the foundations of the world God knew you. you were already in His imagination before He ever created the world. you are a work of art. (a masterpiece...) He made this place for us. for us to enjoy, for us to admire its beauty, for us to stand in awe of His beauty and greatness while at the same time realize that even before we learned to love Him and fear Him (or even have a knowledge of who He is...) we were first fearfully and wonderfully made by Him.

when we were in His imagination He could only dream of creating us, and knowing us, and seeing what it would be like to having a relationship with us, and finding out what it would feel like for us to break His heart, to even learn Himself what it's like to love a people so much that He would give His own Son over to death for our sake. just so we can be right back where we left off (perfect communion with the Father). He dreamt of and anticipated it until that perfect moment in time where he has placed each one of us... like a novel or an epic poem, we are the characters in His story. coming in right at the perfect time as He masterfully creates the words on the pages of history like a perfectly orchestrated symphony.

even with the knowledge and realization of the vast complexities, and depth, and beauty of the world we know, of the universe we know... still, THIS is God's favourite piece, His most prized posession; mankind.

the color of loneliness...

i haven't been sleeping well lately... 

it's gradually been getting harder to fall asleep.

and then when i finally am asleep it's hard to stay asleep.

i don't know why, but my mind has been running overtime. 24/7... i can't make sense of what's going on inside my head. it's just senseless chatter... static noise... it's nothing in particular. at least i don't think so...

i can't really make any sense of it. just simply background noise... i kind of start feeling like i'm in a large crowd sometimes.

during the day it's usually rather comfortable. but it's at night when i'm trying to sleep that's the problem. it's much easier to just stay awake and ignore it. i really don't know what it is. i try to pay attention to it. but it's still just more radio static... maybe it's my own mind making noise so that i don't feel lonely anymore. i don't know. i'm getting pretty tired of it though. it's not comforting anymore... it's just a nuisance now.