when will this end?

i'm writing right now without any intention or direction. but i just feel like i need to release some pressure in my head and heart that is more than well over due.
i am so sick of being lonely and missing people it's literally making me sick! i hate the way this is looking to turn out. i'm just pissed...
why does it seem that no matter where i am or what i'm doing i'm just not content? (i never am unless there's snow.) why does it seem like that's JUST the way life is? it's full of heart ache, heart break, broken hearts, broken eyes, twisted minds, twisted ears, sore feet, delays, relays, replays, inlays, outlays, lays potato chips that cut the roof of your mouth, plans made plans changed, plans broken, relationships broken, (everything in this world breaks...) things you want but you can't have, things you want and you can have but you know you shouldn't have them... and so the list goes on.
when will i get to where i'm going? why can't i see the path i'm on? i don't know where to turn, how fast or how slow to go. i can't see the obstacles ahead. or for that matter the destination... i just have my hands out in front of me flailing wildly. desperately groping the darkness as i take baby steps scared that i might trip and fall or take the wrong step and end up somewhere i should never be.
where is the light switch?

does anyone at least have a flashlight???




"you feel like running, but life is on a stroll..." - Donald Miller